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Parenting Plan in Divorce Mediation

A parenting plan provides clarity for parents and stability for children.
​In the face of the uncertainty created by divorce, mediation with David Louis guides you toward a parenting plan that can provide clarity for you as parents and stability for your children. While the marriage relationship may be ending, for those with children, the parenting relationship continues. In divorce mediation David will help you make an enduring yet flexible parental agreement that will be workable and supportive of your children. 

“I take your role as parents seriously” — David

“If your divorce involves children, I will help you jointly build a durable parenting plan. This plan will reflect your shared goals regarding your children’s well-being and will help you remain partners in your role as parents.”


​How do we safeguard our children?

The parenting plan created in divorce mediation will acknowledge your need to remain parenting partners, delineating co-parental roles in order to minimize the impact of divorce on your children. The plan will describe how to safeguard developmentally positive circumstances for your children going forward. Your children will do better in the long term by choosing mediation over traditional divorce proceedings.
 
Even though you are no longer living together, the parental agreement demonstrates your love and mutual concern for your children, that they are the first priority. The plan affirms that your children’s experiences with each parent going forward are going to be positive.

What does a mediated parenting plan cover?

Decisions reached in divorce mediation define specifically how you are going to share the responsibilities of caring for your children. The parental agreement is created in the context of state law. Many state legal systems still refer to “custody” and “visitation”–terms that we associate more with the criminal justice system or funeral homes. Fortunately, Illinois is more advanced than other states, describing the parenting plan as including “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “allocation of parenting time."

A mediated parenting plan has three components:
  • Parental decision-making with regard to responsibility for your children’s welfare—sharing decisions about health, education, religion, etc.
  • Decisions around scheduling/parenting time—when each parent will have care of the children, movement back and forth between parents’ homes
  • Terms and conditions of the parenting partnership, which primarily relate to parental communication protocols and strategies for promoting two loving households for the children

Reducing family stress

​Divorce inevitably creates uncertainty and anxiety for children. Young people observe how you as parents go about the process of ending your marriage; they are sensitive to the stress you are feeling. The strength of mediation is that it allows for civil and respectful dialogue. Thus, even though you are going through a challenging transition, you can do it in a way that reduces emotional turmoil. 

Telling children about the divorce

​If you are still living together, David can assist you in coming up with a plan for when and how to tell the children about your impending separation and guide your discussion about interim living arrangements. Planning within mediation can help remove the mystery around new arrangements created by separation.

Working with many families in divorce mediation, David has found that telling one’s children about the impending divorce relieves a lot of stress for everyone—the anticipation and imagined scenarios are often harder for children to process than the truth. For parents, the emotional burden of preparing to tell children about a divorce is often greater than the actual experience of doing so. Children, depending on their age, are very perceptive and often have already figured out what is happening.

“You are the experts when it comes to your kids” — David

“Some parents have told me that their marriage hasn’t worked, but one thing that they did well together was parenting. In working with such couples, the parenting plan can affirm those strengths. I acknowledge that you are the experts when it comes to parenting your kids. You have years of experience and know better than any professional what your individual circumstances require. I see in mediation an opportunity to reinforce what you are already doing well. I can help you to navigate a difficult transition and assist you to envision what it will be like to parent in two separate homes.”
An exercise to focus on your children during the divorce mediation process: 

  • Envision your children as young adults. Imagine that they are everything you hoped they would become. Make a list that describes who they are, including everything that reveals your shared goals, hopes and dreams for them. 

  • While getting to that point in their lives rests significantly on the children themselves, there is much two parents can do to help their children achieve those outcomes. Make a list of what actions you as parents can take to make these dreams for your children happen.

  • Use these lists as a goals statement and action plan for co-parenting agreements in mediation.
 
©2020 Louis Mediation Services


Clients appreciate David Louis’ services​

“I have often been deeply grateful for your calm, your focus and your ability to redirect difficult behavior into productive conversation…We would never have been able to come to all those compromises without you leading us there.”