Freedom to Be Who We Are

At its best, marriage is a partnership that nourishes the individuality of each to blossom into fully self-expressed humanness. A marriage that allows for growth while retaining underlying connection and intimacy can be very powerful.

And yet, in some marriages, people often work toward their personal evolution at different rates or not at all. Sadly, this presents challenges that may be insurmountable. Trying to meet the expectations of a spouse that don’t match who we are can prevent us from becoming who we want to be.

Regardless of our religious or spiritual beliefs, most all traditions point to the need for the individual to grow. As with nature, without growth we wither and die. Personal growth helps us to thrive.

While the painful circumstances of a marriage that is ending pose a personal challenge, they also offer a great opportunity for growth.

While the painful circumstances of a marriage that is ending pose a personal challenge, they also offer a great opportunity for growth. Instead of feeling the pressure to meet the expectations of a spouse, we can move toward discovering who we really are and what’s possible for us. For many, this can be a profound experience that redirects our focus into the future.

Maybe it involves participating in a sport that the ex-spouse had no interest in. Or a pursuit in the arts, joining new groups or meeting new friends. Sometimes it may involve taking a risk that would not have been tolerated in the marriage.

The end of a marriage is the beginning of a new chapter in the journey of life—recognizing the freedom to live on our own terms may just be the first step in continuing to grow to our full potential.