It has been said that mediation is an art form. This depiction resonates with me—when I think of art, my mind goes to the concept of being creative.
While there are common themes to mediation styles, I think of my own mediation style as being my signature. It is mine and no one else’s. As part of that signature, a key attribute for me as a good mediator is to be authentic.
Creativity is a hallmark of mediation. How a mediator practices his/her creative skills is often a matter of style. While there are common themes to mediation styles, I think of my own mediation style as being my signature. It is mine and no one else’s. As part of that signature, a key attribute for me as a good mediator is to be authentic.
As I consider what it means to be authentic in my role as a mediator, this is what comes to mind:
Being who I am
As a mediator, my intention is always to be trustable, available and creative in my responses. I promise to be someone you both can count on for professionalism and thoughtful, compassionate support in your divorce process.
When two people decide to leave a marriage behind, a healthy transition includes a conversation about setting appropriate boundaries. Each relationship is different, so it’s really up to you to determine the boundaries that will work best for the future.
When there are no children of a marriage, there is an underlying question about what, if any, relationship you will have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. In some marriages, a friendship will endure even though the marriage didn’t work. The future boundaries of these relationships can often mirror those that you would have with a close friend. On the other hand, some childless spouses decide that the pain experienced during the relationship requires a firewall that will result in little or no future contact.
When there are children of a marriage, whether younger children or adults, future interactions will most likely be the rule and not the exception. Not only will you experience the intertwining of your futures, but your children will also observe how you each navigate with the other.
As you keep your children in the center of your lives after divorce, the way in which you communicate with your ex has as great an impact on your children’s adjustment as it does on yours.
As you are thinking about what boundaries to set in your future relationship as ex-spouses, I offer the following for your consideration:
By establishing boundaries that you both honor and respect, you are taking steps toward a healthier and happier future.
A Structured Approach
Based on my experience in working with couples who are divorcing, a common goal is to complete the divorce mediation process as efficiently and cost-effectively as possible. However, it’s always hard to predict (in terms of number of sessions and overall time) how long it will take to complete the mediation process.
In my divorce mediation practice, I emphasize a structured approach. . . A structured mediation begins by providing you with tools that you can use to prepare for your mediation sessions
In my divorce mediation practice, I emphasize a structured approach. “Structure” is, in a single word, the mainstay of what I want to bring to you. After all, most clients who work with me have never experienced divorce, don’t necessarily know what it entails, and will explain that their expectation of the mediator is to help them figure out what they need to do in order to end their marriage.
A structured mediation begins by providing you with tools that you can use to prepare for your mediation sessions. Here are some of those tools:
By employing these tools at the outset of mediation, the seeds of a structured mediation process are planted. This often helps you hit the ground running at the initial session, giving you confidence that the mediation won’t be endless.
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