When two people decide to leave a marriage behind, a healthy transition includes a conversation about setting appropriate boundaries. Each relationship is different, so it’s really up to you to determine the boundaries that will work best for the future.
When there are no children of a marriage, there is an underlying question about what, if any, relationship you will have with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. In some marriages, a friendship will endure even though the marriage didn’t work. The future boundaries of these relationships can often mirror those that you would have with a close friend. On the other hand, some childless spouses decide that the pain experienced during the relationship requires a firewall that will result in little or no future contact.
When there are children of a marriage, whether younger children or adults, future interactions will most likely be the rule and not the exception. Not only will you experience the intertwining of your futures, but your children will also observe how you each navigate with the other.
As you keep your children in the center of your lives after divorce, the way in which you communicate with your ex has as great an impact on your children’s adjustment as it does on yours.
As you are thinking about what boundaries to set in your future relationship as ex-spouses, I offer the following for your consideration:
By establishing boundaries that you both honor and respect, you are taking steps toward a healthier and happier future.