As a divorce mediator, my objective is to inform clients of all the tools and resources available to them. In that process, I am frequently asked, “If we choose divorce mediation, do we need attorneys?” The simplest answer to this question is “Yes.” Unfortunately, a simple answer is not always a complete one. While the “Model for Standards of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediation” states that a mediator should recommend that participants obtain independent legal representation, it is also true that the standards support self-determination by participants. “Self-determination is the act of coming to a voluntary, uncoerced decision in which each party makes free and informed choices as to process and outcome.” Because I am a firm believer in the right to self-determination, I will work with clients whether or not attorneys are involved. However, in my initial consultation with clients, we discuss the valuable role that attorneys can perform in the mediation process. In short, clients have a choice. They may decide, in spite of what I (or any mediator) may recommend, that they do not want to obtain the services of an attorney. Some divorce mediators will not work with couples unless each spouse engages the services of an attorney. Because I am a firm believer in the right to self-determination, I will work with clients whether or not attorneys are involved. However, in my initial consultation with clients, we discuss the valuable role that attorneys can perform in the mediation process. How Attorneys Can Assist the Mediation Process A primary goal of my divorce mediation process is informed decision-making. Providing legal information to clients is a neutral step that I take at the beginning of any mediation. However, an experienced divorce attorney can assist a spouse in making informed decisions by offering legal advice that is based on full understanding of the law and how the spouse’s circumstances would be treated in court. During the mediation process, some clients may desire to have their attorney(s) present to offer real-time support and advice. When mediations are “attorney-assisted,” the mediator continues to control the process, while the attorneys assist in promoting understanding. As a trained collaborative professional, I see attorney-assisted mediation as an opportunity to create an interdisciplinary team that promotes outcomes acceptable to all. Another option that can be beneficial (and usually more economical) involves clients engaging an attorney in a “consulting” capacity, meaning that the client can receive feedback and advice about what has happened in mediation sessions to be better prepared to negotiate effectively with a spouse at the next session. An Attorney’s Role at the Conclusion of Mediation When the mediation process has concluded, and the mediator has prepared a written document that includes all of the mutually agreed upon decisions that have been made by the spouses, either or both may engage an attorney in the capacity of “review attorney.” In this role, the attorney can independently discuss these decisions and confirm with the client that s/he truly believes that the agreements reached in mediation are in her/his best interest. In addition, since the granting of a divorce is a process that must include the court, the services of an attorney will often be engaged for purposes of preparing the legal documents to be submitted to the court. While some clients may decide to do this on their own, it can be a tricky undertaking and may be best given to a legal professional. Attorney Referrals I am often asked for referrals to attorneys who may act in any or all of the roles listed above. Since divorce mediation is about two spouses developing their own plan to meet their needs in a life transition, I favor attorneys who understand mediation and support this concept of self- determination. Many of my referrals are made to collaboratively trained attorneys, as there are many parallels between the collaborative divorce process and the mediation process. Thoughtful Choices The divorce mediation process offers an opportunity for choices to be made freely, and this includes what resources are used to help create mutually acceptable plans. When it comes to thinking about the use of attorneys in the divorce mediation process, the answer is not as simple as “Yes” or “No”. The more pertinent question may be “Why?”
14 Comments
2/11/2021 06:13:57 pm
It's great to learn how hiring an attorney can support a party for their requests regarding the divorce. One of my friends is thinking of filing for a divorce because his spouse was mismanaging his money. We should probably look for meditation experts that can help him have a peaceful separation from his ex.
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3/14/2021 01:27:06 pm
I appreciate that this post mentioned that it is important for us to seek attorney referrals when we are looking for a divorce mediator. The other day my sister mentioned that she needs a divorce mediator to have her case settled since she and her husband cannot agree on mutual terms. When I speak with her later, I will definitely encourage her to hire an experienced mediator.
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6/7/2021 01:22:34 pm
My sister has been thinking about getting some mediation for her divorce because she wants to prevent a lot of arguing. She would really like to get some help from a professional in order to be a lot safer, and prevent problems. I liked what you said about how the mediator will control the process, and can help them make informed decisions.
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6/16/2021 06:21:32 am
My friend wants to get a divorce, but he doesn't want it to be too intense. It makes sense that divorce mediation would be good for him! I'll make sure he knows to look into that.
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12/22/2021 06:38:59 pm
I loved when you said that providing legal information to clients is a neutral step that I take at the beginning of any mediation. My sister is not in good relation with her husband, and she is in her hard times right now. I would suggest that she visit a family law attorney to give her the best advice on what to do. It is for her best interest and her children.
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Thanks for helping me understand that the primary goal of divorce mediation is to make an informed decision that can help in the legal process. With that in mind, I will definitely suggest to my sister that she hires an attorney mediator when she files for divorce this year. It will help her follow the right process to ensure that even the properties and assets involved will be fairly divided, since they share some of those properties.
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1/12/2022 03:11:59 pm
It helped when you mentioned that it is important not to represent yourself by you only. My cousin mentioned to me last night that he is having issues with his wife because she doesn't want him to see my nephew and asked if I have any idea what is the best option to do. Thanks to this informative article and I'll be sure to tell him that it will be much better if he consults a trusted divorce mediation service as they can answer all his inquiries and will surely help him.
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1/12/2022 03:13:45 pm
I like how the divorce mediation process requires informed decision-making. You can't just say something because it sounds right. Taking the time to understand the decision will result in better choices being made.
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3/7/2022 09:44:09 pm
It got me interested when you said that attorneys can help in the mediation process. My brother is planning to file for divorce next month so this is informative. I guess I should tell him to look for a divorce attorney who can help him with his case so he can move on with his life.
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3/8/2022 04:43:32 pm
You make a great point about how legal information for clients is neutral ground. I need to get a child custody lawyer for my sister Sarah. I'll have to consider getting someone for her who has a winning track record.
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3/19/2022 12:28:38 pm
States that a mediator should recommend that participants obtain independent legal representation, I truly appreciate your great post!
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3/19/2022 12:53:27 pm
And the mediator has prepared a written document that includes all of the mutually agreed upon decisions that have been made by the spouses, Thank you for sharing your great post!
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3/23/2022 08:49:25 am
Thanks for explaining that some clients may want to have their attorney on their side during the mediation process to provide real-time assistance and advice. My friend wants to increase her chances for successful family law mediation. I think she should hire a reliable attorney to achieve a favorable result.
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12/25/2024 11:01:21 am
Attorneys in divorce mediation provide legal insights, help draft agreements, and ensure fairness, supporting couples in reaching mutual resolutions efficiently.
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